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I really didn’t want my first post to be dramatic or sad, but this is the life of an actress, and if I am to reflect the true nature of this journey, there are going to be days where I just want to curl up in a ball, and cry in the fetal position.  Don't worry,  my emotional rants are short lived I have since gotten up, dusted myself off and consoled my self with a bit of reading and rehearsing.

Some people might call this a lull, as most any career, there’s hardship, disappointment, but specifically in this industry there’s heartache. It’s a different sort of heartache that I feel most people in normal professions never really have to endure. I envy these people sometimes as there are days as an actress where I would quickly trade in my vast and extreme spectrum of emotions I go through every day for the even-keeled, monotonous one.

No this heartaches is the kind you can only feel for something you really, truly love. When you get rejected or when you don’t land a role you felt certain that you nailed the audition in. It just compiles and compiles. And you think about the how promising things seemed when you were young and in acting school, just imagining how you’d take the industry by storm just as soon as you graduated. Then you start coming back down to earth a bit, and reality starts to set in, and you start eating into your saving account so that you can support your dream. Everything is shaky, nothing’s certain, and every day is a game of high hopes.

But I can’t give up., I won’t give up. I can cry myself into oblivion, but that doesn’t change the fact that I love this art, and that my true happiness cannot sustain without it. That’s my reality anyway, I’m never giving up on my dreams -  I don’t care about the cliche or even being a statistic if I fail. There’s just no other option for me. There's nothing more worth it.